When i went unconscious, I almost felt the presence of an angel beside me somewhere offering me paradise.
I said 'ok but can I stay a bit conscious inside paradise? Please, I really wanna know what paradise feels like; otherwise how would I know I'm in paradise.'
Funny, I never knew I could negotiate with an angel.
He nodded with acceptance, and here's what paradise felt like:
So, I didn't 'melt' in eternity per se, I 'short circuited', my mind got caught up in ever decreasing cycles of thought, a losing battle between my ego and my truth.
Then when I finally accepted defeat, I still existed, and yet i was nothing.
Reality sort of reeled in on me and time seemed to stop. In fact it moved really really slow, cause if there were no time, then most likely I would not have been able to self re-cognise or be self aware because that relies on time, feed back.
I couldn't sleep and yet I couldn't stop spinning, actually it was bit like when I first got really drunk. I wanted to be sick but I did not have a body and I wanted it all to end, but there was no next moment, no future; so it could never end, and there dies hope, it's damnation, it's crucifixion, it just wouldn't stop.
I spun because there was nothing other than me, no external reference points to stabilise or orientate me. I wanted to die, but there was no next moment, so nothing changed.
Hell! Eternal Hell. How long was I there, for ever. That was paradise! That was all! There was no other than that when I was there.
I suddenly woke up and took a deep breath.
'Paradise?' I heard the echo of the word again.
'No thank you! I prefer right where I am: Here and Now